Snow White: Magic Knight Rayearth Style!
by Major Zazu Fangirl
Summary: What happens if an evil Zazu lover directs Snow White with Rayearth as the cast? Read on to find out! This is my very first fanfiction! PG13 just in case. The REAL Chapter five is up! Please RR! If you want to appear in this fanfiction, just ask!
1. The beginning of chaos

Snow White: Magic Knight Rayearth Style  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Magic Knight Rayearth (Clamp), Snow White (Disney) or Chrono Cross (Square), but I will own Zazu Torque's hat soon enough!  
  
Major Zazu Fangirl: HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLOOOOOO EEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRYYYYYOOOOONNNNNEEEE!!!!  
  
(Camera breaks)  
  
MZF: Oh (bleep)! That comes out of my allowance! (Ahem, ahem) I am Major Zazu Fangirl, the director of this entirelt useless, completely pointless, and utterly stupid fanfiction. I've assigned you all to a part in the play, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Now, go home and wait for your scripts and roles in the mail for 6-8 weeks. Residents of Cephiro, Autozam, Chizeta and Fahren will be charged an extra $999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 and 99 cents for stamps.  
  
Hikaru: Why don't you just give them to us now? (points at the pile of scripts that MZF is sitting on)  
  
MZF: That's just going to waste time! Now, you can all go home, except Zazu, you're staying here to help me with the stamps!  
  
(silence)  
  
MZF: (puppy dog eyes) Where's Zazu? (pauses for three seconds) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (continues crying)  
  
Everyone: (screaming)  
  
(windows breaking)  
  
(dogs barking)  
  
(my mom calling for the mental hospital. again)  
  
Eagle: (yelling over MZF's crying, everyone's screaming, windows breaking, dogs barking and the phone dialling) HE'S OVER HERE!!! (points)  
  
MZF: (immediately stops crying and runs over to where Eagle is pointing in about half a second) ZAZU! (hugs the life out of Zazu)  
  
Zazu: (still being hugged, gasping for air) Ea.gle!!!  
  
Eagle: (whispering) Sorry pal, better you than me.  
  
Zazu: (screaming weakly) (bleep). YOU. EA.GLE!!!!  
  
MZF: I wuv you!  
  
Zazu: (screaming louder)  
  
Eagle: Have fun! (leaves)  
  
Everyone but MZF and Zazu: (leave)  
  
MZF: We'll have so much fun! (closes her eyes) Pasting millions of stamps on the envelopes, putting the scripts in the envelopes, closing the envelopes, then going to the post office together, listening to all the confused voices asking, "Where's that? Are you trying to be funny? Get out of my post office!" then once we suceed sending the scripts, ah. we'll be alone with nothing else to do but be together. (sigh) (opens her eyes, noticing that Zazu is gone) . Zazu.? (puppy dog eyes) Where's Zazu? (pauses for three seconds) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (cries for several hours)  
  
So, what did you think? Please, no flames, this is my very first fanfiction ever. I got nowhere in this chapter, but I'll update if I get ONE, just ONE good review! Thank you if you liked my fanfiction. (bows) Now, I have to go watch my Magic Knight Rayearth Tapes for a good thirteen hours. Bye! 


	2. The cast

Disclaimer - I don't own Magic Knight Rayearth (Clamp), Snow White (Disney), or Chrono Cross (Square) (I will use it eventually, they always intrude in my thoughts) BUT! I do own a goldfish named Zazu Torque! (But my cousin calls him "Torky." and my other cousin calls him "Porky." O_o)  
  
(6-8 weeks later)  
  
Zazu: (really, really, really po'd) YOU BLEW MY COVER AND LEFT ME ALONE WITH THAT RAVING LUNATIC!!!!!!  
  
Eagle: Like I said, better you then me.  
  
Zazu: By the way, what did you mean by that?  
  
Eagle: Didn't you see her room? If you look closely enough between all 7,631 pictures of you on her closet door, you can see a rather small picture of me.  
  
Zazu: WHAT!? WHY YOU!? SO WHAT ABOUT ONE SMALL PICTURE!?!?!? LOOK AT HER PEN-NAME DAMN IT!! LOOK AT THE REST OF HER ROOM!!!! SHE WROTE MY NAME ON 17 SHIRTS AND A PAIR OF JEANS!!! SHE HAS A GOLDFISH, A SNAKE AND A DOG NAMED AFTER ME!! (A/N: I don't have a dog, that's what I call the neighbour's dog. but I DO have a goldfish and a garter snake ^_^) SHE DREW ME ON A MATH TEST, AN ENGLISH TEST, A SCIENCE TEST, AN ART PROJECT. no wait, she made me the art project. HA! SHE LIKES ME MORE!!!  
  
Everyone: (staring.)  
  
Zazu: (clueless) What?  
  
Eagle: The truth is out.  
  
Zazu: WHAT!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?  
  
Fuu: Does anyone else notice that we can hear all the swear words???  
  
Everyone: ................  
  
Major Zazu Fangirl: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!  
  
(nothing breaks)  
  
MZF: (laughing maniacally) I've outsmarted glass! I knew I was going to scream HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! So I replaced everything with PLAAAAAAAAAASTIIIIIIC!!!! (continues laughing)  
  
(silence)  
  
MZF: (while hugging Zazu) Anyway, in answer of your question, I spent so much money on stamps we can't afford the bleeps anymore. On top of that, I was too busy with the mail to write my novel and make millions of dollars. This is all your fault, Zazu!  
  
Zazu: (struggling to breathe)  
  
MZF: Awww.I forgive you, no one can stay mad at you when you apologize so nicely.  
  
Zazu: (still struggling to breathe)  
  
MZF: Awww. I wuv you too!  
  
Zazu: (struggling to breathe in protest)  
  
MZF: (GASP!) YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!  
  
Zazu: (gets out of her evil grasp) YOU BITCH FROM FIREY, CRIMSON HELL!!! I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE, I DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU, AND I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO MARRY ME!!!  
  
MZF: (about to cry) You. you. didn't?  
  
Zazu: HELL NO!!!  
  
Eagle: Zazu! What are you doing!? She's going to cry!  
  
Zazu: So what!?  
  
Eagle: Where have you been!?  
  
MZF: (really about to cry) I.I.I. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHH!!!!!! (continues crying)  
  
Everyone but MZF and Zazu: DAMN YOU ZAZU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!  
  
Zazu: STOP CRYING!!!  
  
(Everyone screaming and trying to kill Zazu)  
  
Zazu: (light-bulb appears above head) I'LL TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER IF YOU STOP CRYING!!!  
  
MZF: (stops crying and hugs Zazu) ZAZU!  
  
Zazu: (struggling) God. damn. it!  
  
Everyone else: Thank god!  
  
MZF: Well, practice is cancelled tonight, we've got to get going!  
  
Zazu: But it's only 2:30 PM!  
  
MZF: You're going to help me buy a dress! We're going to Chanel!  
  
Zazu: (about to die) Chanel??? Did you say Chanel???  
  
MZF: You're going to buy me a pretty dress and not care a thing what it costs!  
  
Zazu: But I'm broke!  
  
MZF: (not even listening) I'm just going to leave the cast paper here, take a look for yourselves! (throws a piece of paper on the ground) Let's go, Zazu! YAY! (runs out of the place, which is actually her backyard, and runs to Chanel with Zazu)  
  
~ The Cast ~  
  
Snow White - Hikaru  
  
The Prince - Lantis  
  
The Evil Queen - Debonair  
  
Person in the Mirror - Nova  
  
Narrators - Umi and Fuu  
  
Sleepy - Ferio  
  
Dopey - Zazu  
  
Sneezy - Tarta  
  
Grumpy - Geo  
  
Bashful - Ascot  
  
Happy - Tatra  
  
Doc - Clef  
  
Extras - Mokona, Presea/Sierra, Caldina, Lafarga, Alcione, Innouva, Zagato, Emeraude, Eagle, Primera, Sang Yung, Aska, Chang Ang (I think I got everyone)  
  
So what did you think? I had to wrap things up fast because I had to get off the computer or my parents would kill me. I'd like to give a special thanks to shiranami for my VERY FIRST EVER review, and a good one by the way! Thank you! I promise I'll get the next chapter up soon, okay? I've got to go Zazu-hat-hunting, I'll be at Wal-mart, bye! 


	3. The play begins, and poor Eagle!

Disclaimer - Listen... I don't own ANYTHING, NOT EVEN THE COMPUTER I'M TYPING ON, so get off my CASE!!! Oh, and Erica is my friend, by the way! She agreed to try to keep this play sane! (Audience... if any: BOOO! (throws trash at MZF)) What!?  
  
  
  
(The Next Day)  
  
Zazu: (walks in, traumatized) The horror..... The horror....  
  
Major Zazu Fangirl: (walks in, wearing a $3,000,000 dress) Wasn't that fun!?  
  
Zazu: I'll have to work for 450 years to pay off for that piece of cotton!  
  
Geo: On your salary, 634 is more like it.  
  
Zazu: (falls over anime-style)  
  
MZF: Anyway, I thought we'd actually get this play on with before the bank repoes the place.  
  
Umi: How can they repo a backyard with nothing in it?  
  
MZF: At this rate, we'll find out. Anyway, I brought in one of my friends to help with the play. This is Erica.  
  
Erica: (bored) ...Hi...  
  
Presea: How did you get here so fast?  
  
Erica: (bored) ... I dunno...  
  
MZF: Erica has been working on some sort of drug to help me from going crazy! Isn't that nice!?  
  
Zazu: THANK GOD!!! (at Erica's feet) THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!  
  
Erica: (mildy freaked out, and bored) ...You're scaring me...  
  
(Sad music starts playing)  
  
Zazu: (looking sad, on the verge of tears) All my life I have searched for the answer to get this bitch of my back... disguises, hiding, eating garlic for lunch... but they all failed! (Music lifts to a joyful tune)  
  
Zazu: However, you may have answered my prayers! The answer was not goofy glasses, hiding behind someone three times the size of me, or going to "Little Italy" for lunch... it was...  
  
("Hallelujah" starts playing)  
  
Zazu: DRUGS!!! THE ANSWER ALL ALONG WAS DRUGS!!! (sobbing)  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Anyone else hear music?  
  
Miki (From Chrono Cross): (playing with a CD player) Oh, sorry. (turns off music) (If you don't know who this is, check out http://www.icybrian.com/chronocross/miki3.jpg for a picture)  
  
Ferio: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fuu: FERIO! (slaps Ferio, about three teeth fall out of his mouth)  
  
Ferio: Ow! I have a lawyer! I'll sue!  
  
Fuu: I think what you need is a dentist! Your teeth look horrible!  
  
Clef: Who are you?  
  
Miki: I'm Miki! Major Zazu Fangirl hired me to work with the music.  
  
Caldina: I've seen you! You're a dancer, ain't ya?  
  
Miki: (gasp) I've seen you too! You're Caldina! I love Chizetan dancing!  
  
Caldina: I love... whatever dancing you do!  
  
Miki: And that costume! It's so cool!  
  
Caldina: I love the top! Pink is definitely your colour!  
  
Both: (squealing)  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Is this gay or what?  
  
All: (agreeing)  
  
Zazu: (straining) WE COULD USE A LITTLE OF THOSE DRUGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!  
  
MZF: (all over Zazu again... as usual) No drugs will keep you away from MEEEE!!!!  
  
Zazu: (screaming as loud as he can in this condition) ERICA!!!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... I'm still testing it...  
  
Zazu: (stammering) T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- TESTING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Ah, what the hell... (holds up a needle) (Holy music plays, everyone eyes Miki, who's nowhere near the CD player anymore)  
  
Miki: (has no idea why everyone is looking at her) What???  
  
Erica: (actually not bored anymore) (gives MZF the needle)  
  
MZF: (dizzily) Wow! Everything's so spinny! (humming odd tune) (passes out)  
  
Everyone: (gapes in awe for about one second, then start cheering)  
  
Zazu: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!  
  
Miki: (turns on Conga music) Drinks for everyone!  
  
(Conga line starts, a party erupts with alchohol and food)  
  
(16 hours later...)  
  
MZF: (wakes up) Huh? (notices a HUGE mess and nobody is there) Why is there a HUGE mess here? Why isn't anyone here?  
  
(The Next Day)  
  
MZF: You all ditched me! Just for that, you all have to FORCE Zazu to buy me another dress!  
  
Eagle: Yeah, Zazu's not here, he has a hang-over and couldn't make it.  
  
MZF: (Gasp!) My li'l Zazzy isn't here??? Cruel fate, why do you mock me!? (light-bulb) Okay! For the remainder of the day, my name is MEF!  
  
Eagle: (scared half to death) M!E!F?  
  
(Horror music starts playing)  
  
MZ(E)F: Major EAGLE fangirl! (Thunder crashes) (laughing crazily)  
  
Miki: I love my job!  
  
Eagle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
MEF: (tries to hug Eagle, but is... a little too short)  
  
Fuu: Miss Major Eagle Fangirl, you appear to be too short to hug Mr. Eagle. You should try your luck with Mr. Clef.  
  
MEF: EWWWW!!!! THAT 745-YEAR-OLD PERVERT!? (A/N: Sorry, Clef fans) NO WAAAY!!! (grabs a ladder, climbs ladder and hugs Eagle) EAGLE!!!  
  
Eagle: (through clenched teeth) I'm going to KILL Zazu!  
  
MEF: Since Zazu is not here, we'll just do the first few scenes! Ferio! You can be camera-man!  
  
Ferio: (sarcastic) Oh, boy, I get to work with a broken camera.  
  
MEF: I FIXED IT!  
  
Ferio: You can't fix a camera!  
  
MEF: I can't, but YOU can!  
  
Ferio: What the hell...?  
  
MEF: Everyone get into your costumes! Miki! Cue the music!  
  
Miki: (thumbs-up) Right!  
  
MEF: HEY! YOU STOLE THAT FROM ZAZU!!! NO ONE STEALS FROM ZAZU!!!  
  
Miki: (sweatdrop) YOU stole his wrench, remember?  
  
MEF: ... We're even! (Hand-shake)  
  
(Scene 1 - that weird book opens, fantasy music plays, and this whole thing is pointless, I'm going to sleep)  
  
Umi: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess living in a beautiful kingdom called Cephiro.  
  
Fuu: The princess's name was Snow Hikaru, she lived in the castle with her step-mother the queen, Debonair.  
  
Umi: The queen would step up to her mirror everyday and ask, "Nova, Nova, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"  
  
Fuu: As long as the pink-haired girl in the mirror would respond, "You are the fairest one of all, mother Debonair," the queen would be happy.  
  
Umi: But one day Nova in the mirror responded differently, saying that "Snow Hikaru" was the fairest in the land.  
  
Fuu: The queen tried hiding the princess's beauty in rags, and-hey, where's the rest of the script?  
  
Umi: Goddamnit, MEF! You couldn't even finish the intro!?  
  
MEF: I got bored! YOU try writing a script!  
  
Fuu: Well, this classic intro is dead!  
  
Umi: It was dead the second I said "Once..."  
  
(Scene 2 - Debonair walks up to her mirror, scary music begins to play. If anyone wants me I'll be ordering a pizza and listening to the radio)  
  
  
  
Debonair: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space. Through wind and darkness, I summon thee.  
  
(wind howling)  
  
Debonair: Speak! Let me see thy face.  
  
(Fire shows up in the mirror, then dissapears, but nobody's there)  
  
Debonair: (clears throat) Let me see thy face.  
  
(... Nothing...)  
  
Debonair: LET ME SEE THY FACE!!!  
  
MEF: Hold on, hold on, hold on! Where's Nova?  
  
Mokona: Puu! Puu! Puu! (pointing)  
  
MEF: What's that, Mokona?  
  
Mokona: Puu! Puu, puu! (pointing)  
  
MEF: Nova's over there? (points in the same direction as Mokona)  
  
Mokona: (nodding) Puu, puu!  
  
MEF: Thanks, Mokona! (runs over to where Nova is standing, at the snack bar, but she's so hyped on pixistix (cough, cough) she runs right past her, down the street, and into a tree) OW! THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TAKE DIRECTIONS FROM AN OVERGROWN MARSHMALLOW!!! (runs back) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MOKONA!?!?  
  
Mokona: (worried) Puu.  
  
Umi: (comes up with a pen and clipboard) Should I sign you up for the "I Hate Mokona Club?"  
  
MEF: Certainly!  
  
Umi: Umm. do I sign you up as MZF or MEF?  
  
MEF: I go as both, I am MZF when Zazu is healthy, MEF when he is not, and MFF when both are not availible.  
  
Ferio: MFF!?  
  
Umi: And what if Zazu, Eagle AND Ferio are all sick?  
  
MEF: In the unlikely case of that, I will be known as MLF.  
  
Lantis: _ Shit!  
  
Umi: And if-  
  
MEF: MAF.  
  
Ascot: DAMN!!!  
  
Umi: Well, I think this shoot is over, our next meeting starts in 5 minutes.  
  
MEF: Who else is in the group?  
  
Umi: Well... just us, actually, but if you get another person to sign up you a get a free "I Hate Mokona Club Pin." (holds up a pin the size of crumb)  
  
MEF: WOW!!!! THAT PIN LOOKS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!  
  
(A window breaks)  
  
MEF: MOOOOOM!!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!! PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! USE PLAAAAAAASTIC!!!! I want the pin!  
  
Umi: Uh-uh-uh! You have to get someone to sign up!  
  
MEF: (takes the clipboard and scribbles on it) THERE! EAGLE JOINED!  
  
Eagle: (goes chibi) But I don't wanna!  
  
MEF: (ANGRY RED EYES!!!) YOU'LL JOIN AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!  
  
Eagle: (faints)  
  
Umi: ... Just take the friggin' pin!  
  
MFF: Thanks!  
  
Ferio: Hey, hold on, what's going on!?  
  
MFF: Zazu's not here, Eagle's unconscious, you're the next in line! (Jumps at Ferio and hugs every single breath of air outta him)  
  
Ferio: AHHHH!!! I'M DYING!!!  
  
MFF: I WUV YOU!!!  
  
Ferio: AHH!!! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!!  
  
Mom: I've called the mental hospital again, is that all right?  
  
Ferio: THAT'LL BE PERFECT, MA'AM!!!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... I'm gonna make a stronger drug...  
  
God am I bored... I write this for fun and only fun, but God am I bored... If I get one good review I'll post the next chapter, if not! I'll send out my snake and goldfish to steal all CD's with RUN on them! (laughs manically) No, seriously, please review, I know you're all good people, so review and I promise you you'll go to heaven, 'kay? Buh-bye. 


	4. The number one thing you shouldn't ask w...

Disclaimer - (clears throat) I don't own Magic Knight Rayearth, Snow White or Chrono Cross. I'm a good little Christian girl, a good little Christian girl.  
  
(Next week)  
  
Major Zazu Fangirl: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! As you should know by now, my name is Major Zazu Fangirl, but my real name is Mrs. Torque.  
  
Zazu: What the HELL are you talking about!?  
  
MZF: We all went to Vegas this week and you got really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really...  
  
(four hours later)  
  
MZF: ... really, really, really, really, really, really, really. (thinks for a moment) drunk and asked me to marry you!  
  
Zazu: (wakes up) Wait a second here! I don't recall that at all!  
  
MZF: OF course you don't! You passed out after you popped the question!  
  
Zazu: OMG!! WHY ME!? WHY ME!?  
  
Ferio: We even have the tape to prove it!  
  
Zazu: WHAT!?  
  
(A TV and VCR magically appears out of nowhere, everyone gathers around)  
  
Umi: Who brought popcorn?  
  
Ascot: I've got sugar-coated.  
  
Sierra: Cheese-coated.  
  
Emeraude: Buttery.  
  
Hikaru: Extra buttery.  
  
Geo: Salted.  
  
Aska: Un-salted.  
  
Clef: Fat-free.  
  
Nova: Air-popped.  
  
Primera: Heat-popped.  
  
Umi: ... Forget it...  
  
(Tape)  
  
Priest: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to-  
  
Zazu: (drunk) Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, YAP! I paid ya three bucks, my shoes and a half-eaten container of tic-tacs I found on the street, and all I get is yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, YAP! I coulda just gone home and waited for an infomercial!  
  
MZF: Isn't he the cutest?  
  
Priest: .. So.. now what?  
  
Zazu: (hiccup) Just say a sentence, give me some cake, and leave me alone!  
  
Tatra: (crying) I always cry at weddings.  
  
Priest: You're married, cake's over there, if you want a ride home here's a phone.  
  
Zazu: Now give me justice, or give me cake!  
  
Priest: Kiss the damn bride and get outta my chapel!  
  
("Real Life")  
  
Fuu: That's most likely the grossest thing I've ever seen.  
  
Ferio: You really think so?  
  
Fuu: (points)  
  
Ferio: ... I see...  
  
Tatra: (crying) I always cry at weddings.  
  
Zazu: (screams) WHO HAS THE REMOTE!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Miki: (kicks the remote behind a tree) ... Not me!  
  
Zazu: AAAAAHHHHH!!!! (hits the TV with a chair and it breaks) (looks proud) My work is done.  
  
Eagle: Big problem, pal.  
  
Zazu: What's that?  
  
Eagle: The crazy blonde is still your wife.  
  
Zazu: (realizes) OH, CRAP!  
  
MZF: (hugs Zazu) We still have to plan honeymoon, I was thinking Paris, France. We can spend endless hours at the Eiffel Tower and at fancy French Restaurants.  
  
Zazu: (turning blue) Can't... breathe... need... (wheeze) air... to... (pant) live!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... You know... we really should get the play going.  
  
MZF: HI, ERICA!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... whatever...  
  
Zazu: WHERE ARE THE DRUGS!?  
  
Erica: (bored) ... I found out they're illegal now...  
  
Zazu/Eagle/Ferio/Lantis/Ascot: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!?!?!?  
  
Erica: (bored) ... I haven't been keeping track...  
  
(yelling and screaming)  
  
Miki: Come on! Let's get this play on the road! I've got other places to be!  
  
MZF: Oh, all right! Places everyone! This play isn't going to perform itself!  
  
(Scene 3 - (I don't CARE if I didn't finish scene 2!) Snow Hikaru is cleaning the steps of the castle with a bunch of random extras in dove costumes. I like cheese, so I'm going to go eat some, 'kay?)  
  
Snow Hikaru: Who the hell ever talked me into this? (sighs and splashes the stairs)  
  
Eagle: OH GREAT! You got soap in my eyes!  
  
Caldina: There's water in my ear!  
  
Sang Yung: I have soap up my nose!  
  
Innouva: You don't HAVE a nose!  
  
Sang Yung: Yes I do! (turns to the side)  
  
Innouva: Oh...  
  
Snow Hikaru: Oh, boy! I finally get to sing! I've been practicing for weeks and I can finally hit a high E!  
  
Random Merchant: Earplugs! Who wants earplugs? Earplugs for sale! Get 'em while they're cheap!  
  
(five minutes later)  
  
Random Merchant: (holding bags and bags of money) Wow! I'm a millionaire!  
  
Hikaru: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! I'm so excited!  
  
MZF: Uhh. one problem, Hikaru, Miki quit on me so we can't do any songs, music, etc.  
  
Everyone who bought earplugs: OMG! I JUST SPEND MY LIFE-SAVINGS ON THESE!  
  
Hikaru: But why?  
  
MZF: I, uhh, sorta punched her in the face.  
  
Hikaru: What? Why???  
  
MZF: She, uhh, sorta stole Zazu's wrench, which I stole from him.  
  
Zazu: I knew you were involved!  
  
MZF: (practically crushing Zazu's bones) That's nice and all, Zazzy, darlin', but we're just going to have to cancel all musical acts and because we're low on funds, we can't go to that Britney Spears concert I promised you all.  
  
Clef: (screams) NOOOO!!! BRITNEY SPEARS!!! (runs out screaming)  
  
Erica: (bored) ... You think he's obsessed?  
  
(All agreeing)  
  
MZF: HOWEVER! Erica's going to help me with make-up and clothing, so our new Britney Spears is... EAGLE!  
  
Eagle: ... Why does everyone always pick on me?  
  
MZF: Because you're just SO cute! But Zazu's cuter! ZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZU ZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZU ZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZU ZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZUZAZU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zazu: Someone PLEASE call a divorce lawyer! There's no way in HELL this can be my wife!  
  
Ferio: (steps on Zazu's cell-phone and breaks it into a million pieces) As long as YOU'RE married to her, there's no way she can trick US into marrying her!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... So are we doing the play or what?  
  
Hikaru: But I can't sing!  
  
Umi: We KNEW that!  
  
Hikaru: No! I mean they won't let me!  
  
Umi: ... Oh...  
  
MZF: (looks at the script) Umm... Just get to the scene where Snow Hikaru meets Prince Lantis then you can all go home.  
  
(Scene 3 - continued, god, you're still reading this? ... Whatever, I'll be at Burger King stealing straws)  
  
Snow Hikaru: (mumbling) Stupid little... can't let me sing... I oughta... Oh, yeah, I'm on! (looks into the well, humming tune)  
  
Prince Lantis: (comes up on a horse (Chang Ang))  
  
Horsey Chang Ang: (gasping) Why do I have to be a horse? I have heart problems! (gasping)  
  
Prince Lantis: That was EVERYONE'S excuse, so too bad!  
  
Horsey Chang Ang: (gasping) What happened to YOUR horse?  
  
Prince Lantis: It wasn't mine in the first place, I stole it from Wal-Mart.  
  
Horsey Chang Ang: Oh...  
  
(Prince Lantis enters the garden)  
  
Prince Lantis: (reading cue-cards) Rhy... Hell...o, young niss. My... mame is... Erince Cantis... who wrote these cue-cards!?  
  
MZF: I DID! I DID!  
  
Fuu: Why do they look so hard to read, Miss Major Zazu Fangirl?  
  
MZF: Well, I was too busy hugging Zazu I had to write with my feet. (tries to hug Zazu again, but can't find him) Zazu??? (bites her lip) Zaaazuuu??? (puppy dog eyes) Zaaaaaaazuuuuuu??? (about to cry) Where did Zazu go?  
  
Tarta: Oh man... (points) He's hiding in that closet!  
  
Zazu: (comes out of the closet) Tarta! I thought we had a deal!  
  
Tarta: I'm sorry, but you know what happens when she cries--  
  
MZF: ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (hugs Zazu)  
  
(windows break, car alarm goes off, police shouting)  
  
Tarta: --Something like that.  
  
Zazu: THAT IS THE LAST TIME I TRUST YOU, TARTA!!!  
  
MZF: I WUV YOU!!! (gasp) And imagine what our children will be like! They'll have your rugged good-looks, mechanical know-how, sparkly eyes, and my cuteness, intelligence, and my creativity!  
  
Zazu: (under breath) God must really hate me...  
  
Eagle: No, God loves everyone! ... 'cept you!  
  
Zazu: (groans)  
  
Tatra: Aww, isn't that cute! Kids are so cute!  
  
MZF: I know! See! Someone agrees with me!  
  
Zazu: MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!!  
  
Prince Lantis: Ahem? Can we keep the scene going?  
  
MZF: Ummm... no!  
  
Three words: I HATE WRITER'S BLOCK! ... No wait... whatever, I don't care. Please review, every little word helps, and if you like me chasing Zazu around, you'll LOVE my other fanfiction, What if the Cast of Rayearth were The Simpsons? Trust me. Everyone who reviews gets a special little thank- you letter (if you leave your email) isn't that cute? Well, you'll have to review to get one! If you want to make an appearance in this wacky trash, just tell me! 'Cause I'm the little Zazu-lover who could. ^_^ Now, I'm going to go to sleep, because it's 3 AM and I have to wake up in 3 hours. Buh-bye. 


	5. Wow! Romance! Or maybe not

I'm sorry I took so long to update, but school started. I haven't had any homework... but I'm just too TIRED!!! Plus! MY DAMN VCR SNAPPED TAPE 8 AND 9!!! THAT DAMN PIECE OF CRAP!!! MY TAPES!!! If anyone has money, send it to me, I need my MKR tapes back and a new VCR that DOESN'T SNAP MY TAPES!!!  
  
I'm really hyper right now, so don't be surprised if things don't make sense.  
  
Disclaimer - Yah, yah, I don't own squat, just a computer and a dream... no wait... just a dream...  
  
Special Guest of the Day:  
  
Sunny-D  
  
  
  
(Some odd number of weeks later)  
  
Major Zazu Fangirl: (asleep on the set)  
  
Umi: Umm... what's going on?  
  
Ferio: Uhh...aren't we supposed to be taping?  
  
Sunny-D: (appears out of nowhere) Well, yes, but Zazu called Animal-Control and got a bunch of guys with tranquilizers to come over.  
  
Ascot: (points at Ferio) But didn't you break his cell-phone?  
  
Sunny-D: In answer to that question, he spent five days looking for glue and all the pieces and through much struggle and effort he glued his phone together.  
  
(Holy Music plays)  
  
Ferio: (swings head around) MIKI!? MIIIKKKIII!?!? IS THAT YOU!?!?  
  
Fuu: (slaps Ferio again) I want a break-up!  
  
Ferio: Aw, Fuu...!  
  
Fuu: HMMP! (stomps out angrily)  
  
Ferio: .... Oh, man!  
  
Umi: There goes our other narrator...  
  
Emeraude: Who are you, anyway?  
  
Sunny-D: Hmm? Oh, my name is Sunny-D, MZF hired me to work with the scenery.  
  
Caldina: Well, that's good, because it's pretty hard to believe that MZF's garage is a castle.  
  
Alcione: And that that rosebush is a forest.  
  
Sunny-D: ... Well, actually... that's all we have to work with, I'm just around to add a flower or two.  
  
(Everyone sweatdrops)  
  
Sunny-D: Are we all really getting paid $250 a day for this thing?  
  
Zazu: (holds up a huge wad of cash) Yeah, and I'm getting paid extra for all the so-called "love!"  
  
Lantis: Where is she getting all this money anyway?  
  
Mokona: Puu! Puu, puu! Puu-puu-puu-puu! Puu, puu!  
  
Translator: She goes and begs celebrities for money, they pity her so much they give her bags of cash.  
  
Hikaru: Then why is she doing this stupid play if she's rich?  
  
(silence) (A/N: I'm too lazy to think of a reason)  
  
Sunny-D: Yeah, I really need that money, I have a lot of apple juice to buy.  
  
Clef: And that Britney Spears concert is tomorrow! I need a ticket!  
  
Caldina: And I need more money so I can play poker with the gals.  
  
Zazu: I need money to pay for that stupid dress.  
  
Ferio: I gotta apologize to Fuu... I need money just because.  
  
Everyone: (sigh) We need money...  
  
Eagle: ...So, when do you think she'll wake up?  
  
Sunny-D: The guy with the needles said she would remain in this deep sleep until love's first kiss.  
  
(Everyone eyes Zazu)  
  
Zazu: (chibi and sweating like hell) What?  
  
Everyone: GO KISS HER!!! WE NEED MONEY!!!  
  
Zazu: (stammering) But-but-I-I-(light bulb) HA! I can't! Because it isn't the FIRST kiss! HAH!  
  
Miki: That's right!  
  
Sang Yung: Why are you here?  
  
Miki: MZF re-hired me and raised my pay.  
  
Ferio: (looks up at the sky) Thank you, God!  
  
God: No problem, Ferio!  
  
Clef: I REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THAT BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT!!!  
  
Sunny-D: We really need that money! Now what!?  
  
Zazu: (thinks for a second) Wait a second... (attempts to push Eagle where he was standing a minute ago, but he's too little and cute and sweet and (gets hit over the head with a mallet) OW!!! Who did that!?!?) Argh... Oh, well. We can use EAGLE to wake her up!  
  
Eagle: WHAT!?  
  
Zazu: (whispering) I'm getting back at you for blowing my cover!  
  
Eagle: (goes chibi) But I'm too overly cute to deserve this type of torture! (puppy dog eyes)  
  
Crowd: Aww...  
  
Zazu: (also goes chibi) And you think I'M NOT!?!?  
  
Crowd: Ooooooh!  
  
Eagle: You should be used to this torture by now!  
  
Crowd: (gasps)  
  
Zazu: You don't know all the torture I had to go through! You can't decide what I should be used to and not! I am my own person, and I make my own decisions!!!  
  
Crowd: (cheering and applause)  
  
Eagle: Oh, man, nothing can beat that! Except! (sticks his tongue out at Zazu)  
  
MZF: (jolts up) NO ONE STICKS HIS OR HER TONGUE OUT AT MY ZAZU!!!  
  
Everyone: (stares at MZF)  
  
MZF: ... Oh yeah... I'm supposed to be asleep...  
  
Zazu and Eagle: What the HELL is going on!?!?!?  
  
MZF: Well, that didn't work! Oh, well! (hugs both Zazu and Eagle because their both chibi)  
  
Zazu: Well, it was nice knowing you, pal.  
  
Eagle: Shut up, this is all your fault.  
  
Erica: (comes in, bored with a soda) ... What's going on?  
  
Miki: MZF blew it.  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Oh...  
  
Zazu and Eagle: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "BLEW IT!?"  
  
Miki: Uhh... nothing...  
  
Erica: (bored) ... she paid us to get Zazu to kiss her, we shouldn't have said "Love's FIRST Kiss..."  
  
Miki: Yeah, we should have said "The Kiss of a Prince."  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Zazu's not a prince...  
  
Miki: He is in MZF-Land.  
  
Hikaru: Where's that?  
  
Miki: It's a theme park in Chicago.  
  
Zazu: God help anyone who ever goes there.  
  
Eagle: But Chicago's nice.  
  
Zazu: NOT THAT, YOU BAKA!! (A/N: I added that in because my cousin read it and thought I was talking about Chicago)  
  
Sunny-D: Umm, shouldn't we be taping?  
  
MZF: OH YES! WE SHOULD! We'll start at scene 4!  
  
Lantis: How come you never finish any of the scenes!?  
  
MZF: 'Cause everyone knows how this play goes anyway!  
  
Clef: I don't.  
  
MZF: ... You're fired.  
  
Clef: Aw, shit! (walks out)  
  
MZF: We need a new dwarf. Who wants to be a dwarf!  
  
(silence)  
  
Someone: NONE OF US!  
  
MZF: Whatever, Innouva, you're the dwarf.  
  
Innouva: WHY ME!?  
  
MZF: Because you ARE a dwarf!  
  
Innouva: I'm an ELF!  
  
MZF: Not anymore!  
  
(Scene 4 - Debonair's Castle)  
  
Debonair: Hunter Eagle, come forward.  
  
Hunter Eagle: (backstage) I'M NOT COMING OUT!!!  
  
MZF: What's wrong noooooow???  
  
Hunter Eagle: I DON'T LIKE MY COSTUME!!!  
  
MZF: But Erica designed it!  
  
Hunter Eagle: THAT'S THE PROBLEM!!! SHE'S A HORRIBLE COSTUME DESIGNER!!!  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Bite me... (A/N: She really says that...)  
  
MZF: Get out or you don't get paid!  
  
Hunter Eagle: (mumbles) Okay, fine... (comes out wearing clothes like Pierre from Chrono Cross, picture at http://www.icybrian.com/chronocross/pierre3.jpg)  
  
Everyone: (silent for a moment, then laughing like hell broke loose)  
  
Hunter Eagle: We need to talk.  
  
MZF: Get on with the scene!  
  
Hunter Eagle: Fine... (ahem, ahem) You asked to see me, your highness?  
  
Debonair: (laughing through words) Yes... I ask of... you... (bursts out in laughter then falls on the floor laughing)  
  
MZF: Ummm... cut? (A/N: The first time I've said that word...)  
  
(Scene 4, Take 2)  
  
Sunny-D: How'd you get Debonair to stop laughing? And Eagle to stop complaining?  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Drugs, of course, what else?  
  
Debonair: Hunter Eagle, come forward.  
  
Hunter Eagle: (walks up) You asked to see me, your highness?  
  
Debonair: Yes, I ask of you. Under my command, I will see that you will kill Snow Hikaru.  
  
Hunter Eagle: Oh, okay.  
  
Hikaru: (off-stage) EAGLE!!!! DON'T YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME!?!?!  
  
Hunter Eagle: Uh... no?  
  
Hikaru: EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hunter Eagle: Uh...yes?  
  
Hikaru: Aww, Eagle...  
  
Lantis: Ahem???  
  
Hikaru: What's your problem?  
  
Debonair: Bring her to a field, make her pick flowers, then KILL her! To make sure that you do, I want you to put her hair in this box.  
  
(holds up an empty, torn up apple juice container)  
  
Eagle: What the hell is this?  
  
Sunny-D: I picked it up from home, it's the perfect prop!  
  
Aska: Weren't you in charge of scenery?  
  
Sunny-D: I got a promotion!  
  
MZF: Clef was our old prop guy, but I fired him!  
  
Umi: I wonder where he is...  
  
(Somewhere in U.S.A.)  
  
Clef: (holding up a sign that says "Las Vegas" and sticking his thumb up) Las Vegas! Las Vegas! Come on, someone give me a ride!  
  
Car: (stops)  
  
Clef: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!  
  
Men in prison clothes: You need a ride?  
  
Clef: (sorta scared) Uhh... maybe???  
  
Another Car: (stops)  
  
Prostitutes: You need a ride?  
  
Clef: Uhh... (thinking) Convicts, prostitutes, convicts, prostitutes...  
  
Clef's brain: Choose the prostitutes, man!  
  
Clef: I don't know, it could be dangerous.  
  
Clef's brain: And how so?  
  
Clef: Hmm... I'm not quite sure.  
  
Clef's brain: Well, what's stopping you?  
  
Clef: Eh, (walks up to the prostitutes) I'll come with you.  
  
Prostitute: Hop in.  
  
(Three minutes later in China)  
  
Clef: (distant) HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Person: (speaking Chinese) (What was that?)  
  
Person #2: (Someone got into a car full of prostitutes again)  
  
Person: (Ohh... who do you think it was this time?)  
  
Person #2: (I'd say 7 feet tall, hockey superstar and big fan of Mozart) (A/N: Don't ask, I'm hyper)  
  
(Scene 5, Scene 4 is finished, right??? - In a flower field, I'm gonna go dive of a cliff, I don't deserve to get this humiliation... or do I?)  
  
Umi: So the Hunter Eagle led Snow Hikaru to the fields full of Cast me- flowers.  
  
Snow Hikaru: (picking flowers, which are actually the extras in flower costumes.  
  
Rose Primera: OOOWWW!!! YOU PULLED MY HAIR!!!  
  
Daisy Innouva: MY EARS!!!  
  
Buttercup Mokona: PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!  
  
Sunflower Zagato: GODDAMMIT!!!  
  
Snow Hikaru: Quit your complaining, you're flowers! You're not supposed to talk! Ooh! Look at that pretty flower!  
  
Bluebell Lafarga: (mumbles) Someone's gonna get sued.  
  
Snow Hikaru: (goes to pick the flower)  
  
Hunter Eagle: (backstage) Hey, who took my dagger?  
  
Zazu: (tip-toeing around with Hunter Eagle's dagger, sneaking up to MZF)  
  
Erica: (bored) ... Zazu, don't steal, play with, or kill anyone with the props...  
  
Zazu: (puppy dog eyes, I'm contagious) Why not???  
  
Erica: (bored) ... We actually had to pay for that prop...  
  
MZF: You weren't going to kill me with that 5-cent prop, were you? Zazu: Uhh... no...  
  
MZF: Aww! That's so sweet! (hugs Zazu) We should get re-married!  
  
Zazu: (gasp) NO WAY (wheeze) IN HELL!!!  
  
Sunny-D: This isn't going as good as I had thought that it would... Eh.  
  
(drinks some apple juice) Hee-hee! (runs off)  
  
Hunter Eagle: (takes his dagger back, then walks up to Snow Hikaru)  
  
Snow Hikaru: (turns around, then screams)  
  
Hunter Eagle: (drops the dagger) I'm so sorry! (drops to his knees and buries his head in Snow Hikaru's skirt) I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, your highness! (accidentally pulls too hard, resulting in pulling of Snow's Hikaru's skirt)  
  
Snow Hikaru: (screams) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (runs offstage)  
  
Lantis/Eagle/Zazu: (staring)  
  
Everyone screaming and yelling  
  
Random noises from the neighborhood (ya know, screaming, dogs barking, people going deaf)  
  
MZF: (hanging onto Zazu in fear) It's a disaster!!! We need a sane person here to help us!!!  
  
Ferio: AW, CRAP!!!  
  
Sierra: WE MUST FIND SUNNY-D!!!  
  
Caldina: SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS EVEN A SPECK OF SANITY!!!  
  
Tarta: UHH... ONE PROBLEM!!! (points)  
  
Everyone, well, mostly everyone, sees a Sunny-D-shaped hole through the door.  
  
Hikaru: (running around) I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zazu: Anyone else see Hikaru running around in her panties?  
  
Lantis and Eagle: (nod)  
  
Zazu: Then I'm not drunk, unbelievable.  
  
MZF: (gasp!) You're looking at other women! Why, Zazu? Why? (About to cry)  
  
Everyone: OH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MZF: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone losing their sanity and will to live  
  
Clef: (distant screaming)  
  
Eagle: ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ferio: RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lantis: YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!  
  
Ascot: MAKE HER STOP CRYING!!!!  
  
Innouva: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!  
  
Zazu: (thinking) God, if you really love me, which you obviously don't, you'll let this work. (big breath) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MZF: (stops crying) Huh? You really do?  
  
Zazu: (nods) Yep.  
  
MZF: (teary-eyed) You really, really, really, really, really, really...  
  
(four hours later)  
  
MZF: ...really, really, really, really, really, really, really... (thinks for a moment) mean it!  
  
Zazu: (wakes up) Yep.  
  
MZF: Oh, Zazu...  
  
(The Romance theme from "Romeo and Juliet" Plays)  
  
MZF: (jumps into Zazu's arms)  
  
("It's Getting Hot in Here" starts playing)  
  
Miki: Whoops! (takes the tape out and puts another one in) I recorded over that.  
  
("Romeo and Juliet" starts playing again)  
  
MZF: (thinking) He loves me! He loves me! He loves me! He loves me! I knew it!  
  
Zazu: (thinking) I'm dying over here, where can't she be totally in love with Eagle or Lantis or someone who's not me??? Oh, god, that music is driving me crazy, but if I don't do anything all the other Bishounen she's gone crazy over will kill me!  
  
Tatra: (sniff, sniff) This is so romantic!  
  
Tarta: Can't you tell he's acting?  
  
Tatra: He's not acting! Love was not written in a script, it was created by everyone's hearts!  
  
Tatra: No, I think he stole this from something they showed on Fox.  
  
Zazu: (gulp) (thinking) Things are getting baaaaad... but if I don't do anything, people will kill me, really, REALLY kill me.  
  
MZF and Zazu: (about to kiss)  
  
(Tape abruptly changes to the theme of "South Park")  
  
Zazu: (looks up) Thank you god for making Miki record over TWO tapes!  
  
Miki: Don't worry, I have another one! (takes out yet ANOTHER tape. Where is she getting all these tapes!?)  
  
Zazu: (thinks) God, you've really screwed me again. (gulp)  
  
MZF and Zazu: (kiss)  
  
Crowd: (going wild)  
  
MZF: I love you.  
  
Zazu: Yeah, hold on a second. (runs out)  
  
(Loud vomiting sounds)  
  
Eagle: That brave boy.  
  
Ascot: In sickness, he saved us all.  
  
Ferio: It makes you think that we should've done something to help.  
  
Lantis: Like what?  
  
Ferio: ... Anyone up for pizza and a round of mini-golf?  
  
(All agreeing)  
  
MZF: HE LOVES ME! HE LOVES ME! HE LOVES ME! HE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(A window breaks)  
  
MZF: (squealing!)  
  
(Later)  
  
Zazu: (wakes up) Huh? Where am I? How the hell did I get here? Huh? (looks to the side)  
  
Scene moves back to show that Zazu was sleeping on a couch, with MZF next to him)  
  
Zazu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
(China)  
  
Person: (speaking Chinese) (Now what?)  
  
Person #2: (A man woke up with a woman he hates next to him, I'd say he got drunk and blanked out)  
  
Person: (I see)  
  
Clef: (shows up)  
  
Person: (Hey, how'd you get here?)  
  
Clef: (speaking Chinese) (I dug my way here)  
  
Person #2: (Oh...)  
  
Clef: (holds up a sign saying "Moscow" on it in Chinese) (Moscow! Moscow!)  
  
God, it's hard to think when it's 12:55 AM! We'll what did'cha think? No flames please, I'm tired, hyper and pissed off. DAMN VCR!!!! AHHHH!!! MY TAPES!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN VVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please R/R, you'd make me so happy! ^_^ Well, I should get to sleep. A special thanks to my friend Mickey, who gave me this cute little puppy plushie for my birthday! (Which was eight months ago, but whatever) I named it Zazu Torque and it inspired me to turn on my computer and update my fanfiction! Thankies! ^_^ Buh-bye.  
  
PS - Sorry if I don't get my thank you's out quickly, I've begun to lose track of things. 


End file.
